What can I tell you
by TigerlilyandHummingbird
Summary: Noodle's emotions are bothering her, so it's time to face them like the Axe Princess she is... very Angsty and very Noodle2D


**eWhat Can I Tell You?**

_Hummingbird- just came back from the choir tour to NYC._

_Tigerlily- Hummer can sing._

_Hummingbird- Gotta write fast, the song I am writing to is moving on. Don't own anything, please review. Xox_

Floating over pink fluffy clouds, Noodle stared absently out of the plane window. Her eyes shimmered in the sunset. She was alone, sitting in first class, flying out to America. Russ, 2D and Murdoc were at the first-class bar. She was listening to Behind Blue Eyes by Limp Bizkit. She couldn't understand some of the things they were saying over the whirr of the plane.

The clouds were dancing with each other, changing as they did.

"No one stays the same for long," she whispered, changing the words to the song, "No one knows what it's like to be me."

She could feel her heart breaking as she watched a purple cloud twist with a bluish one to become white and pink in the lights. If clouds could feel love, that's what was happening. Age was no contest. Nothing mattered. How she wished to have that freedom.

"Sweet'eart!" 2D stumbled back to his huge seat next to Noodle's. She wiped her eyes quickly, just in case.

"How are you?" he asked, falling onto his chair and leaning right up to her face.

His breath stank of alcohol. He didn't like getting this way on his own, it messed with his medicine and no restraint was practically a sin in Buddhism.

Noodle didn't even have time to answer before he fell back and went straight to sleep.

Russ returned shortly afterwards. He caught the look on her face and held out an arm to lift her out over 2D. It was a huge plane and he took her to a restaurant where he sat her down and looked into her eyes.

"It wasn't his fault, Muds forced him to drink again."

"Do you really think that's what's worrying me?" she snapped.

"What is it, then?" he asked.

"Look at me," she pulled at the front of her top, "How old am I, Russ? How old?"

He shook his head.

"I don't understand, darling," he replied.

"Tell me you know so I don't have to explain," she whispered, leaning her head on the table.

"I don't understand. And from experience with you, neither do you. So I'm not going to ask."

She knew he was doing it to try and be kind, but all Noodle really wanted was to be held. Russ stood up and made his way to the door.

"You're supposed to be the smart one!" she called, head still on the table.

He stopped and looked back, confused and concerned for his little purple star. Good thing they only had 45 minutes until landing.

Sometimes, no matter where you go it always feels the same. It's like no where belongs to you. Who you're with, their voices float over your head and nothing matters. Time runs away from you like anything and even though you can't stop it you don't care. And then there isn't enough time for anything. It's a feeling that sucks, but only a few experience it.

Noodle dragged her suitcase through JFK with 2D just in front of her. She had here eyes fixed on the back of 2D's head as it bobbed up and down.

He wasn't ignoring her, he was just in pain, his headaches were always worse after a binge. Murdoc wasn't talking much either. Now her head hurt, after thinking too much. They stopped outside in the cold air, waiting for their taxi.

"I'll be back in a minute," she called back, walking off.

"Don't go too far," Russ called.

When she got to the top of the hill that led onto the highway, she looked off into the distance. 2D could see her, she knew that. She shook the hair out of her eyes. She could just see New York, the Chrysler Building sparkling in the night. The lights were brighter than she had ever seen.

A feeling took over her that hurt to fathom or even explain after it was over. She turned back to face them and waved so hard her shoulders ached, making sure she had their understanding and attention.

"Five minutes!!" she screamed back at them, "Wait for 5 minutes!!"

And she ran. Drops of her tears fell through the air behind her, crashing down onto the tarmac. Her heart pulsed in her throat and she chocked out sobs through pants.

_No matter how far you run, the truth hunts you down. No matter how fast you fly, your wings are torn by what you know. You can't escape what's not there yet. Don't even try…_

Her mind raced faster than her feet as she flipped over backwards, U-turning in mid-air and forcing herself to run back the way she had come.

_It's not over yet. When can it be?_

"Thirty second late," 2D joked croakily from the ground.

Her eyes blurred and she passed out.

Who could've thought that 3 hours would pass in such an uneventful flash with one purple-haired Axe-Princess lying unconscious on her bassists hotel bed being taken care of by the drummer.

When she woke, rain was spattering on the midnight dawn-shade window that was infamous in cities where the lights don't go out.

"How long was I out?" she asked Russ who immediately put a steaming mug of coffee in her hands.

"Around 3 hours. How are you feeling? Is it… that time?" he asked, awkwardly.

Noodle choked on her coffee slightly.

"Nuh-uh. I'm just depressed," she answered, stifling a giggle.

"Well I didn't know!" Russ was suddenly indignant.

"Aw, you tried," she put the mug down and got off the bed.

"D and Muds?" she asked, after stretching.

"Gone out to set up the stages with the crew. I'm sure Muds won't be too happy when he finds that the only set of bulbs that didn't break in the luggage hold were fuchsia."

Noodle laughed. Russ knew that if sunshine had a sound, this was it.

"Can you tell me what's wrong?"

Noodle paused and looked into her friend's frosty eyes. Then she went to the window and looked up. The buildings stretched away into the foggy sky.

She shook her head.

"There are two reasons why I can't. You can't help even if you knew and…" she trailed off.

"I will get over it," she finished after a few seconds.

Russel raised an eyebrow at her. He knew that tone, it was like she was trying to convince herself of something because deep down she didn't really know it could be true; even though it was nicer to think it was that way.

"Come on, I'll take you to your room," and he led her down the hall just as Murdoc's angry swearing came through the lift.

"She's awake? Good, get some sleep, we got some practice to do tomorrow before the first concert," Murdoc called down the corridor.

2D came out of the lift just after Murdoc and waved at Noodle. She pulled away from Russ and slammed the door of her room behind her.

Russ shook his head as 2D stared at where she had been.

"_Well that's not frigging good,_" Russ thought.

The next few days were relatively normal. Noodle managed to slip back into her old self for a while everyday, saving her outbursts for her guitar.

"That's the THIRD this week!" Murdoc complained, thrusting her guitar in her face after their last concert, "It's like you were trying to kill it more and more every concert this week!"

She loved it like it was a part of her, and she practically grieved when she broke one string, but it wasn't her fault she needed the outlet.

"And look at your fingers!" 2D wrapped elastoplasts around the blood covered, blistered stumps that could be her fingertips, "Don't they hurt?"

"Oh, not much," Noodle smiled through the agony.

"Don't pick the plasters off, ok?" 2D lifted her off the chair and out her on his back. She wrapped her arms around his neck.

_If this is the closest you're gonna get…?_

She willed herself to shut up.

"Come on," Russ looked at his watch, "Jamie and Damon are waiting at the airport."

"Those freaks!?" Murdoc complained, "Don't tell me they're flying with us!?! Put 'em in economy with the rest of the riff-raff!"

They frowned at Murdoc and he backed down.

"Okay, okay, just keep them away from me!"

Noodle lay her cheek on a mass of blue hair. It was surprisingly soft for its spikyness, it wans't like he had to gel it or anything, too. She felt tired. She also knew she was getting too big for the piggy-backs. She let their voices reel around her head.

"Noodlalou?" 2D called gently.

She looked like a princess with sunshine reflecting across the water and catching her silky hair. As she opened her eyes, the pupils retracted with mechanical precision but the grace of a ballet dancer. She knew he wanted to talk about something random. He was exaggerating how she had said her name in the capsule hotel ident.

"Noodle, I thought I'd better tell you, look out the window," he was grinning.

She sat up and turned. There was a sliding door onto a balcony with a sea view. She suddenly felt undulating beneath her.

"What about our plane?" she asked.

"Murdoc was so adamant not to fly, especially when they told him he couldn't move after they put him next to Damon, so he got us a cruise back to Cardiff."

Sighing, she got up from her chair and pushed back the sliding door. The salty air stung her eyes and she felt a bit faint.

She took a step forward and slipped on some water. Running to her rescue, D caught her and they stood staring into each other eyes with the sun blazing behind them. Noodle had her mouth slightly open. Neither knew what the other was thinking, it was agony.

"Guys," Russ called, coming into the room.

2D basically dropped Noodle and ran out the door, pushing past Russel. His foot steps faded down the corridor.

"Noo-"

"Get out," she bent over and clutched at her stomach.

Russel took a step into her room.

"Get OUT!" she screamed at him, slamming the sliding door so hard it split down the middle.

He took the hint and left.

"Where's the fire?!" Murdoc asked as D ran past him.

Then Russ ran past after 2D.

Murdoc held out an arm.

"OKAY!!! I've had enough now!!! What am I missing!?!?!"

Russ grimaced and pushed past.

"Just coz I'm not stupid enough to beat up my own drummer doesn't mean I couldn't if he pisses me off!" he yelled.

"Oh fuck it," Murdoc lit a cigarette and headed for Noodle.

_Straight-answer city, dead ahead_, he thought.

Oh, how wrong can you be?

_Hummingbird- oooh, will update soon. Stories have precedence over homework. Gorillaz 4eva, please review. xox_


End file.
